Local Man Finds Missing Link In His Backyard?

Local resident, Bart Henderson, claims to have made a ground breaking discovery in his backyard, the missing link between humans and apes. Henderson, who describes himself as a "smart, well learned individual," stumbled upon the unusual creature while tending to his "Tomato plants."

"I was just out there, watering my tomatoes, when I saw it," said Henderson, "It was standing on its hind legs, looking at me with these big, intelligent eyes. I knew right away it was something special." Henderson, who has been studying the creature for the past week, claims it exhibits a unique combination of human and ape-like features. "It has opposable thumbs, but also a prehensile tail," he explained, "It's like nothing I've ever seen before."

However, local wildlife experts are sceptical of Henderson's claims. "Based on the description, it sounds like a rather large and unusually intelligent squirrel," said Dr Emma Cartman, a local wildlife biologist at the University of San Andreas. "Squirrels are known for their dexterity and problem-solving abilities, so it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility for one to develop some unusual traits."

Cartman, who has reviewed photos of the creature provided by Henderson, believes the "missing link" is simply a case of misidentification. "The creature's features are exaggerated in the photos," she explained, "and the human brain is prone to seeing patterns and connections where they don't exist. Often referred to as Pareidolia."

Despite the scepticism, Henderson remains convinced of his discovery. "I know what I saw," he said, "and I'm not going to let anyone tell me otherwise." A bold move on his part in my opinion. I'd just take my losses BEFORE someone writes a story about me.

Stay tuned for future updates, in case the story develops. (It likely wont)

P.S. We're still waiting for Henderson to provide a photo of the creature's opposable thumbs, but those of us at Useless News will not be holding our breath.