White, red, black, red, black, white. These are not hazed visions of the roulette wheel which snatched your money last weekend. These are the colours of the first six cars queueing up in the CHAOS seen at Pillbox Hill. No rest for local residents – a huge traffic jam caused by awful driving standards from loony locals caused pandemonium just outside the city’s busy hospital.
An amateur photographer struck gold and was able to capture these spectacular photos below. Truly lightning in a bottle.
We count roughly 23 cars getting stuck whilst merging into a single lane. Experts say this will have a significant impact on the city’s economy. Employees unable to get to work. Athletes are late for their gym sessions. Those poor individuals desperate to drop their kids off at the pool but they must wait. My thoughts and prayers go out to those.
The image above shows an endless stream of cars stuck in the mud. Unable to move. Frozen in place.
Locals who run out of optimism were seen abandoning their vehicles in favour of making the journey on foot. We can or cannot confirm seeing a local dart into the nearby grassy knoll and squat. These are scenes reminiscent of a zombie invasion.
Keen observers will spot the tow truck in the distance. The operator of this truck is scrambling back and forth trying to fix the jam. But what can he do? He is outnumbered. Do you know this man? He must be identified; an honest, hard-working man. A poster-boy for blue collar workers all across the State.
So what caused the traffic bottleneck? We have been hearing hushed rumours across the city. People no longer need to speculate on the matter, as we, Useless News, have the inside scoop. We have partnered up with the City’s brightest traffic data analysts who have worked tirelessly to create this simulation of traffic flow at the scene:
Traffic lights combined with poor lane management from locals. The truth is out. The rumours can be put to rest.
If you survived this traffic jam please do reach out to Useless News and share your story.
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