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Writer's pictureBill Smith

Politipoll: For Dummies

Like one of my all time favourite series and partly how I became one of the most mediocre journalists in the great state of San Andreas, I owe my career to the 'For Dummies' series of helpful guides, in particular;


Now, not that I've finished that book (I'm only about 10 pages in after about 4 months...), I see a lot of invaluable information from places such as Harry Kennedy's (our favourite Editor-in-Chief down under from Shout News) 'Politi Poll' Series. Whilst we've attempted to poorly replicate this in a satirical way, through our overwhelmingly successful 'Judge Of The Summer' poll. I've decided to spend a bit more of my time and put some of my university degree in data analysis to good use for once... by making our own satirical take on Shout News Politi Poll. Below we'll be unpicking the data from the latest poll and explaining as if you were five, sort of like you would to everyone's favourite office manager from the Office Michael Scott of Dunder Mifflin, if that's not your cup of tea, go read the original version over at Shout News ya dam teachers pet!


The Governor and Legislature

Governor (aka Brovenor) Barbant Approval Rating

Brother Jeremy's approval rating stated out at an impressive 72% on the 27th October, and it's been rising ever since now standing at an astronomical and record breaking 87% on the 24th November. "But Bill, he's just won a landslide election, of course it's gonna be high!" whilst I'd agree, an approval rating of this scale is unheard of and has never happened before. Especially when you take into consideration the last two governors Quinn Marino's started at 19.10% on the 4th August and Ella Brightstar's started at 33% on the 23rd of June. Our first Brovenor is off like a rocket ship and I dare say, in a prime position to run for a second term...


Legislative Approval

The Legislative Approval rating is a bit of an easier story to explain, having started at 25% on the 27th of October rising to 47.8% (nearly doubling) on the 24th of November, this in turn could be explained by the insane popularity of Brovenor Barbants Executive, or that there are a load of new faces in the mix, many of whom have a large public following before entering the world of local politics. Such as Damien Flippinton, Jessica Valentino who both rocked the polls during the 11th Congress election and more recently, James Hill winning the special election after the unfortunate passing of Kieren Graveshaw where James won a landslide victory.


Trust in Government

You'd expect that if people approve of the people representing them, that'd directly corelate with the trust in government, which for the most part is true, looking at the rocky 9th and 10th congress's they had less than 25% of people saying they trust them. Whereas, looking at the latest batch on the 11th, trust in the government is sky rocketing... which seems to be a trend in local politics this go round!


The Departments

Departmental Satisfaction

Firstly, where are SAMS, DOC, PDO? They swap between each Politi Poll, so next time they'll be back and SAFA, PW & SAFR will be blank. Surprisingly, poll on poll doesn't tend to change to much. The best way to understand these is to simply add the green vs the red, Green is positive and Red is negative (Yellow don't know... or live in a bush).


Law Enforcement (LEO) I haven't seen them go above 50% (but it's hard to say your satisfied getting a ticket or arrested).


Parks Dept (SAPD ON TOP!!!) always kill it, fighting for top spot with Fire & Rescue, tend to swap each poll. Judiciary do well, provided court cases are moving etc, because who doesn't love our Supreme Justice Rajmeister General (Rajesh Gupta).


Dept of Justice (DOJ) being the people who prosecute citizens for their crimes alleged or otherwise, very similar boat to LEO, it's hard to be satisfied with the group that just sent you to prison for x amount of months.


Commerce & Labour (DoCL) I'm going to be rather controversial now, despite my pervious run for state government pushing for more ridged timeframes to get applications etc done. They're actually doing a pretty good job with a skeleton staff... like seriously, they have over 350 businesses in the state to look after and keep an eye on, let alone a sea of new business applications coming in that they have to scrutinise and review to ensure they don't flood our local economy full of donut stands or other businesses we have 101 of already at the risk of killing them all off. They rarely get over 50%, yet at times such as the August closure that lasted 2-3 months instead of one, under DoCL's normal operations they fully deserve a much higher score!


Public works (PW) always above 50% easy to explain for two reasons, who doesn't love Public Works and Erin Murphy does a fucking phenomenal job running that department, she lives, breaths and will die in a flat bed on the way to tow it during rush hour traffic.


Flight Authority (SAFA) another controversial one, the other half of my run for state government, pushing for more ridged timeframes on application to testing, they were fantastic back then, having full on discussions about why availability in the department was so low back then (lack of staffing & people on holiday), SAFA are pumping it out at the moment, I've had 4 tests done in the past two days and see both Valerie and Thomas around every day for hours on end. Certainly deserve to be way higher than they are now, if anyone's waiting for a test or wants more info on flying, the pair of them cannot do enough for you and are amazing!


Fire & Rescue (SAFR) easy explanation, your on the floor and can't get up, in a burning building or trapped in a car, they'll come and rescue you, a complete opposite of the issues LEO and DOJ face. You see SAFR, either you or a friend needs help, easy win.


Below you can see in more detail what I was banging on about above, Most sit below 50% apart from SAFR, SAPD and SAMS. Judiciary did slump for a bit but have started to pick up now along with PDO and SAFA.


And that's all folks! What can be quite confusing and intimidating to look at every so often, dumbed down and explained, from what it means to why it looks the way it does (hopefully) that makes sense and is of some use to those of you at home that have seem Harry's Politi Polls, opened them and gone "What the fuck is all these numbers and bars?!" As always, a massive 'shout' out (get it?!) and thanks to Harry for continuing to do his Politi Polls for statistical nerds like me they're like drugs, however to everyone else who just want's to know, "overall, do people think the government/departments are doing a good job?" this article should explain that for you and what to look for to know if they are or aren't (in court of public opinion).

1 Comment


Clayton Greene-Tugelbend
a day ago

Good read.

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