For millennia we have lived by these furry companions. Never really sure how we managed to tame such a mighty beast with the instinct of a predator. Was is just because we fed one cat, one day? Maybe we attempted to go for the old "if not friend, why friend shaped?" mentality and it stuck? No. The truth of the matter is they came to spy. Cunning, extra terrestrial spies, reporting back our every move to the ones they are truly loyal to, Feline High Command!
You want some evidence? Fine I get it. Not everyone can have an open mind about such things. Prepare yourselves.
First thing, their purr. The way it seems to soothe humans, one can only assume it is meant to make us fall further into the trap of servitude. It also doubles as a codded message to their alien kin. Giving secret messages back to the mothership.
Secondly, their stare! They have such huge eyes that are always watching our next move. Studying our behaviours for weaknesses and ways to help them prepare for the day they finally take over. heir eyes often remind of our offspring, causing us to feel bad for them and further let our guard down.
Third, Catnip being their favourite thing. Not only does it make them look like they are tripping. No. It's a psychoactive drug that cats use to enhance their psychic abelites to manipulate us. Have you ever seen someone not fawn over a kitty rolling around, "high" on catnip? I think not. Everyone stops to see a kitty rolling around and looking cute. This is only part of the mind control!
Fourth, having nine lives. We have always heard that cats have nine lives but, what if that isn't the truth at all? What if they are truly immortal beings? Their bodies constantly regenerating, allowing them to carry out their missions. To slowly take over the whole of the world. Cats do have an amazing ability to come back from some of even the most life threatening things.
Fifth, their world domination plan. Cats have slowly been infiltrating every corner of our lives. Our homes, our hearts, our minds, our cafes and even our government here in the state. We have cafes full of cats. Homes with cats in them. Government seats last term were even taken up by almost all of the cat party! This was there first attempt at a takeover. They were hopeful, that by using their champions, they could start to take things over one corner of the world at a time. Sadly for them, the state was not ready for such things. My opinion is that they will mount a new attack at a later time. For a now, they wait all over the state, their numbers growing.... waiting for the perfect time.
The evidence is clear. Cats can not be trusted fully as they are not what they seem. They are cunning, manipulative, and the ultimate threat to humanity. Watching us from the corners of our eyes. The only thing left to ask ourselves is how long until they make their next move? We're not saying this is the reason why your cat always knocks things off shelves, but we're not not saying it.
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