Today, our dedicated team of reporters were live on scene at the January 2024 State Inauguration, recording at the front row seats so we can cover the story the best we can for all you lovely viewers. Our producer, Johnathan Cox, worked as our improv reporter for the day and boy was there a lot to unpack in this report. Take a look!
Wow, honestly I’m at a loss for words. The chemistry between these two is completely unmatched. In the broadcast above, we’re able to clearly see the screen with all the new State Reps that were elected, as well as the returning Governor/Lieutenant Governor, Damien Key and Gracie McCoy. From what we can see here at the front row VIP seats specifically dedicated to Useless News, the entire arena was swarmed with police officers and their furry companions, even the SWAT showed up for once, as well as the Craft Bar and Eatery food truck. It was a fun time watching the event from the VIP front row seats, our only complaint was that we couldn’t seem to hear the speeches given. Nonetheless, we’re sure they were amazing, and if they weren’t, we’re sure at least one person liked it. That’s all that matters at the end of the day, right?
We asked Owen Hunter for comment on his feelings about the new state reps, but well, we already know how that went.
This article is satire. The above image is from an unreleased article from the beginning of 2023.
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