Dogs are a wo/man´s best friend. They give us unconditional love and their unhygienic nature is training our immune system. But do they get the love and respect back in return that they deserve?
If you like to go for walks, when was the last time you stepped into dog poo? Now that you think about it, you probably don´t remember. One might think this is because high penalties taught dog owners to do their duty after their dogs did theirs. But throughout the investigation on this brown matter there were hardly any poop bags found in the bins of the most frequented dog walking areas in Los Santos.
Human´s disrespect for nature
That´s why we asked several dog owners on the streets what is going on and almost everybody gave the same answer: They are feeding their dogs fibre pellets, which they order online (we won´t promote this online shop by naming it).
The fibre pellets macerate in the dog´s gut and their special composition slows down the passing of the digested food. Depending on a dog´s size and how many pellets it is fed, the poop frequency, which would naturally be once to twice a day, gets altered to two or three times a week. The producer of those fibre pellets even provides a calculation template, which combines a dog´s physical traits, such as size, age or daily exercise with the amount and quality of the given food, water intake, feeding times, striven poop frequency and poop daytime. As a result, the dog owner gets to know when and how much fibre pellets should be fed.
Every reader of Useless News, who at some point in their life suffered from constipation, knows how uncomfortable this procedure must feel for the dogs. But their owners clearly don´t give two shits about their best friends´ chocolate factory misery. As you can read in their given statements, their reasonings are simply selfish:
Mark A.: “I don't give a shit that my vet thinks it's shit that I make my dog only shit twice a week. It makes my life so much more plannable!”
Carola L.: “My dog used to take small dumps every now and then. Can you imagine at how many places I got banned, since I take him everywhere with me? Finally, my favourite Bistro unbanned me!”
Shania T.: “I love those fibre pellets! Now Dexie´s grumpies are always solid, no matter how cheap the dog food was, and they are super easy to wrap up.”
Richard P.: “My Mexican housekeeper finally doesn't scream at me anymore since I stopped asking her to clean up after my Foofoo. It's not that gross anymore, so I pick it up myself.”
Enzo M.: “Hey, I only got me that f***ing dog to get girls, okay? I don't want to deal with that f***ing bullshitter's shit. But the fines really got on my budget. So, I guess I can take care of one shit every other day or so, ya know what I'm saying?”
A flammable experiment
Please spread awareness that a stress-free, regularly and unforced poop is essential for a pet´s wellbeing, just like it is for humans. And please don´t repeat this person´s mistake, don´t risk your own health either:
Forever Single Lady: “I was dating this new guy and he was cute and all and I really wanted to get together with him. When he invited me for Netflix and Chill at his place, I was so excited. But I was also worried that I could have needed to… you know what. I have a nervous belly, okay? So, I put in all my data in the calculation template and ate my dog´s pellets. And oh boy, did I regret that. I didn´t have to do number two. But let me say this: Romance gets killed, when the guy of your dreams puts up candles everywhere and you get all windy, because those pellets aren´t made for humans. Have you ever seen those videos of people setting their own farts on fire? Well, after five months I still pay off the damages done to his apartment. Even the fire department had to show up. I am planning to get plastic surgery and change my name as soon as possible.”
Comentarios