In northern Los Santos, a fat cat has become somewhat of a local celebrity. The cat, which we have named Charcoal, has gained notoriety for patrolling the streets in Vinewood. However, despite numerous attempts by the Useless News team to interview him, Charcoal has remained steadfast in his refusal to speak to us.
Charcoal seems to have no owner, and shows many characteristics of a stray. For one, he was wary about accepting any food from us, and hardly ever let us get too close. He’d always make sure to keep a safe distance from any person, and would watch all of us at once to be certain that we didn’t come anywhere near him. We put out cans of tuna, chicken fillets and even delicious sushi, but he didn’t even bother to sniff them.
Despite our attempts to coax him into speaking with us, Charcoal has remained stubbornly silent. In one instance, our Useless News editor Lily attempted to interview the cat while it lounged in the sun. However, Charcoal simply turned his head and refused to make eye contact with her.
Despite Charcoal’s refusal to speak to the press, he remains a beloved member of Los Santos. Many residents have taken to leaving treats and toys outside the convenience store in hopes of catching a glimpse of the elusive feline.
As for Charcoal, he seems content on continuing life on his own terms, without the need for human attention or approval. While we at Useless News may be disappointed by his refusal to speak, we would be lying if we said his chubby body didn’t touch our hearts.
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